Post by Quick Fox on Jun 29, 2009 11:08:45 GMT -5
Cat: Cloudpaw the OUTSIDER
Words: 399
Notes: Where is my place?
Words: 399
Notes: Where is my place?
Cloudpaw thought. And thought. And thought.
Where is my place? Where do I belong? He wondered. He looked over at Leafsong's herbs, and remembered, I belong here more than anywhere else. I shan't be a warrior, I couldn't. I can do this. I can help my clan, they've helped me so much already.
Clan. His clan. The word was still sharp in his mind. He belonged to a clan. That much made him feel uneasy, made him feel unwelcome. Because he was, and there was no getting around that. He did not belong here; he was an outsider, a loner, a cat who simply didn't fit the clan image.
Yet he could try. He would try.
He thought back to his mother and his sisters. His family. He had never known what having a father felt like. Well, having a true father. Crueleye, the bottom-feeding scum who had raped his mother, that was who his father was. And Cloudpaw simply couldn't live with that. Knowing that he was related to Crueleye, that he was the fault of Crueleye, he couldn't bring that to mind. When he did, on the stormy nights when he didn't sleep, it made him want to cry. It was just too painful.
I will get revenge on Crueleye. On Fireclan, he thought, If I do it with the last breath I take.
Looking over again, he studied the herbs, something that was almost mechanical like. He had done it so often, it was as if he was programmed to do it.
He sighed, his mind simply not on his work. All he really wanted was for someone to come over and comfort him. Unfortunately, nobody did. And nobody would.
After a bit, he succumbed to a day-dream, that of him running in a field, completely care-free. Yet it was not to be, for none other than Fireclan cats invaded his dream. They were big ugly things, and he had to fight them off, but he couldn't.
He awoke, shivers running down his spine. That had been awful, and he could barely get it out of his head.
I don't belong here, I never will, but I can try.
I can try.
Where is my place? Where do I belong? He wondered. He looked over at Leafsong's herbs, and remembered, I belong here more than anywhere else. I shan't be a warrior, I couldn't. I can do this. I can help my clan, they've helped me so much already.
Clan. His clan. The word was still sharp in his mind. He belonged to a clan. That much made him feel uneasy, made him feel unwelcome. Because he was, and there was no getting around that. He did not belong here; he was an outsider, a loner, a cat who simply didn't fit the clan image.
Yet he could try. He would try.
He thought back to his mother and his sisters. His family. He had never known what having a father felt like. Well, having a true father. Crueleye, the bottom-feeding scum who had raped his mother, that was who his father was. And Cloudpaw simply couldn't live with that. Knowing that he was related to Crueleye, that he was the fault of Crueleye, he couldn't bring that to mind. When he did, on the stormy nights when he didn't sleep, it made him want to cry. It was just too painful.
I will get revenge on Crueleye. On Fireclan, he thought, If I do it with the last breath I take.
Looking over again, he studied the herbs, something that was almost mechanical like. He had done it so often, it was as if he was programmed to do it.
He sighed, his mind simply not on his work. All he really wanted was for someone to come over and comfort him. Unfortunately, nobody did. And nobody would.
After a bit, he succumbed to a day-dream, that of him running in a field, completely care-free. Yet it was not to be, for none other than Fireclan cats invaded his dream. They were big ugly things, and he had to fight them off, but he couldn't.
He awoke, shivers running down his spine. That had been awful, and he could barely get it out of his head.
I don't belong here, I never will, but I can try.
I can try.
